Writing

How this site works, and what tends to help when you are asking a stranger for kindness or going to meet somebody. Short pieces, no advice you did not ask for.

• When you are the one with something to give

  Giving a hug asks nothing of you beyond a kind minute. How giving works here, why you will not find out whether it helped, and when not to send one.

  Giving · 3 min

• Nobody here ever asks you for money

  The one absolute rule on freehug.me, why it is stated so flatly, what a request for money tends to look like, and how to tell us without signing in.

  Safety · Money · 3 min

• Blocking somebody, and what they see

  One tap, no reason asked, and the other person is never told. What blocking does on freehug.me, what it ends, and why it is deliberately a quiet exit.

  Safety · 3 min

• Grief, and the company of strangers

  Everybody is kind for a fortnight and then the world resumes. Why grief gets harder to mention as it goes on, and what a stranger can offer that a friend cannot.

  Grief · 3 min

• What loneliness actually feels like

  Loneliness is not always sadness. Often it is flatness, or having nothing to report to anybody, and it is hardest to name when nothing is actually wrong.

  Loneliness · 3 min

• Leaving, and why it is easy here

  How to delete a freehug.me account and everything in it, what is kept and why, and why an exit that nobody argues with is part of what makes arriving safe.

  How it works · Safety · 3 min

• Photographs, when words are too much

  Some days an album is easier than a sentence. How photographs work on freehug.me: who can see them, how to take that back, and why none of it is public.

  How it works · Albums · 3 min

• When nobody answers

  What happens to an ask that has not been answered yet, why a quiet day is an ordinary thing on a small site, and what the waiting does not mean about you.

  Asking · 3 min

• This is not a support group

  There is no group, no check-in, and nobody here has a role. Why freehug.me is a site for people rather than a site for people who are struggling.

  How it works · 3 min

• Who runs this, and how it pays for itself

  Who is behind freehug.me, what is free and will stay free, what a membership actually buys, why nothing ever renews on its own, and what is never sold.

  How it works · Money · 3 min

• What to say when you do not know what to say

  How to write a first message to somebody having a hard day. Why advice usually lands badly, what works instead, and four examples you can borrow.

  Giving · 2 min

• Meeting someone new, carefully

  Practical advice for meeting a person you first spoke to online: choosing the place, telling someone, and leaving early without it being a scene.

  Meeting · 3 min

• Asking for a hug without a reason

  You do not have to explain what is wrong, or prove it is bad enough. Why freehug.me never asks for a reason, and what to do when you cannot name what you want.

  Asking · 2 min

• The two rules that make this safe

  Most sites police unwanted contact after it happens. freehug.me makes it impossible to send. Here is how consent is enforced in the database rather than in a policy.

  How it works · Safety · 3 min

• How freehug.me works

  A short tour of freehug.me: asking for a hug, giving one, albums, and meeting. What is free, what is paid, and what the site will never do with your name.

  How it works · 3 min

None of this is a helpline and nobody here is a professional anything. If today is a serious one, there are people who can help properly.